Saturday 22 April 2017

Jokes in Punjabi

Hello to all , Today we share Punjabi funny jokes with you.It  is difficult to make jokes to impress our friends .We know we also share every jokes on whatsapp , because in the whole world in every person use whatsapp and share jokes with our friends. You are on a right place to find any type of jokes .Here we post  daily new jokes for you . Hope you all friends like and share with your friends .


1. ਸ਼ੋਪਿੰਗ  -  ਮਹਿੰਗੀ 
ਬ੍ਯੂਟੀ ਪਾਰਲਰ -  ਮਹਿੰਗਾ 
ਰੈਸਟੋਰੈਂਟ  -   ਮਹਿੰਗਾ 
ਜਵੈਲਰੀ -  ਮਹਿੰਗੀ 

ਨਾ ਖੁਦ ਪਤਨੀ ਰੱਖੀ ਹੈ ਨਾ ਕਿਸੇ ਹੋਰ 
ਨੂੰ ਰੱਖਣ ਦੇਣੀ ਹੈ 
( ਨਰਿੰਦਰ ਮੋਦੀ ਬਜਟ 2017)

2. ਦੋ ਪੇਂਡੂ ਜਨਾਨੀਆਂ ਬੱਸ ਸਟੈਂਡ ਤੇ ਲੜ ਪਾਇਆ 

ਪਹਿਲੀ : ਓਏ! ਮੇਂ ਇਕ ਥੱਪੜ ਮਾਰਿਆ 
ਨਾ ,ਮਰੀਕਾ ਡਿੱਗੇਗੀ ਜਾ ਕੇ...!

ਦੂਜੀ: "ਓਏ ! ਮੈਂ ਇਕ ਥੱਪੜ 
ਮਾਰਿਆ ਨਾ ,ਕੈਨਡਾ ਜਾ ਡਿੱਗੇਗੀ।..!

ਇਕ ਬਜ਼ੁਰਗ ਕੋਲ ਖੜ੍ਹਾ ਕਹਿੰਦਾ : ਭੈਣ ਜੀ ਆ 
ਨਿਕੀ ਜੀ ਮੁਕੀ ਮਾਰਿਉ ਮੈਂ ਨਾਲ ਦੇ ਪਿੰਡ 
ਜਾਣ ਏ |

3.ਇਕ ਬੱਚੇ ਦਾ ਜਨਮ ਹੋਇਆ 
ਬੱਚੇ ਨੇ ਜੰਮਦੇ ਈ ਵੇਖਿਆ ਕੇ ਕਮਰੇ ਵਿਚ ਪੂਰਾ 
ਹਨੇਰਾ ਏ| 
ਬੱਚੇ ਨੇ ਨਰਸ ਨੂੰ ਪੁੱਛਿਆ : ਹਨੇਰਾ ਕਿਊ ਏ ?
ਨਰਸ ਨੇ ਜਵਾਬ ਦਿਤਾ : ਬਿਜਲੀ ਦਾ ਕਟ ਲੱਗਿਆ 
ਹੋਇਆ |
ਬੱਚਾ ਮੱਥੇ ਚ ਹੱਥ ਮਾਰਦੇ ਕਹਿੰਦਾ :
ਓਯੋ ਤੇਰੀ ਭੈਣ ਦੀ ,ਫਿਰ ਪੰਜਾਬ ਵਿਚ ਪੈਦਾ ਹੋ ਗਿਆ.....!!!


4.  ਨੇਤਾ ਜੀ : ਇਹ ਥਰਤੀ ਮੇਰੀ ਮਾਂ ਹੈ 
ਝੰਡਾ ਅਮਲੀ ਬੋਲਿਆ :
ਫਿਰ ਸੰਭਾਲ ਲੈ ਆਪਦੀ ਮਾਂ ਨੂੰ 
ਇਹ ਸੂਰਜ ਦੇ ਆਲੇ ਦੁਆਲੇ 
ਚੱਕਰ ਲਾਉਂਦੀ ਫਿਰਦੀ ਏ....!!!!

5. ਟਿੱਚਰ : तुम्हे पता है हमारे 
पूर्वज बंदर थे ?
ਜੱਟ : ਤੁਹਾਡੇ ਹੋਣਗੇ ਸਾਡੇ
 ਤਾ ਜਿਮੀਦਾਰ ਸੀ....!!

6. ਦੁਨੀਆਂ ਦੇ ਪੰਜ ਮੁਸ਼ਕਿਲ ਕਮ????
1) ਹਾਥੀ ਨੂੰ ਧੱਕਾ ਦੇਣਾ 
2) ਕੀੜੀ ਨੂੰ ਪੱਪੀ ਕਰਨਾ 
3)ਜਿਰਾਫ ਦੇ ਧੋਣ ਫੜਨੀ
4) ਮੱਛਰ ਦੀ ਮਾਲਿਸ਼ ਕਰਨੀ 
ਅਤੇ 
ਪੰਜਵੇ ਆਲਾ ਤਾ ਨਾਮੁਨਕਿਨ ਏ 
5) ਥੋਡੇ ਤੋਂ share ਅਤੇ comment ਦੀ ਉਮੀਦ ਰੱਖਣੀ। ...!!!!













Friday 21 April 2017

Jokes in Hindi



Hello to all , Today we share Hindi funny jokes with you.It  is difficult to make jokes to impress our friends .We know we also share every jokes on whatsapp , because in the whole world in every person use whatsapp and share jokes with our friends. You are on a right place to find any type of jokes .Here we post  daily new jokes for you . Hope you all friends like and share with your friends .






1. Ladki: I Love You

Ladka: I Love You Too

Ladki: Kitna Pyaar Krte Ho tum Mujhse??

Ladka: Jitna Tum Krti Hoo..

Ladki: Kamine.... Iska matlab tum bhi
Time pass he kr raaha hai.





2. AAJ KI TAAJA KHABAR

abhi abhi haamare suttro se ptaa chaala hai ki,
“ Modi ji ne puure desh mei Wi-Fi
lgvaa diyee.......

uno ne yeh bhi kaaha hai ke ,
“ yaadi mujhe 2019 mei fir se jitva diya ,
too mei PASSWORD bhi btaa duuga.....”





3. Teacher: Pappu tumne aaj fir apna
home work nhi kiya,bolo tumhe kya
sjaaa duuu.....
Pappu: Teacher vo mere bagal wali ladki ne
bhi nhi kiya,hum dono ko bathroom mei
band kr doooo..




4. Insaan: Bhaghwaan ladkiya hamesha pyaari
hooti hai pr biwi kyu itni khatarnaak hooti hai.

Bhaghwaan: Kyu ki ladkiya mei bnata hu aur
unhe biwi tum bnaate ho,tumhaari samseya |
Tum he jhelo.





5. Ladki: Kl mei tumhaare liye raakhi
laayi thi tumne bandhwayi kyu nhi?

Ladka: Agar kl mei tumhaare liye
MANGAL SUTAR le ayu to tum
badhva leti kya?





6. Saas: Jamayi raaja agle janam mei
kya banoge ?

Jamayi: Ji Shipkali banuga.
Saas: Vo kyu?

Jamayi: Kyu ki apki beti sirf
shipkali se he darti hai......





7. Ladki: Tu jaaha -jaaha chalega
mera saaya saath hooga,

Ladka: Mujhe to pehle he lagta tha
ki tum bhutnni hai......





8. Madam Murga hamme bnaati thi,
aur EXAM mei annde khud deti thi....






9. Premi apne Premika ko:
Yu mat kheech tu mujhe apni
taraf a mere sanam.....
Brandad T-shirt hai...
Fat Gyi too bhut pitege,
Maa Kasam!!!!






10. Sir dard hoone pr kuch der,
Girlfriend se jaruur baat kree,


Kyu ki Jehar he Jehar ko,
marta hai........

   

   

Jokes in english

Hello to all , Today we share english funny jokes with you.It  is difficult to make jokes to impress our friends .We know we also share every jokes on whatsapp , because in the whole world in every person use whatsapp and share jokes with our friends. You are on a right place to find any type of jokes .Here we post  daily new jokes for you . Hope you all friends like and share with your friends .






1. An old man had 8 hair on his head,
He went to barber shop,
barber in anger asked :
shall i cut or count ?
Old man smiled and said :
“colour it”!
LIFE is to enjoy with whatever
you have with you ,
keep smiling
........




2. Pappu: What is the diffrence
between coffee shop and wine shop ?

Chintu: coffee shop is starting point of
love and wine shop is last point of love...




3. After english Exam
It was easy but question 5 confused me:/
what was the question ?

Question 5 wanted the
past tese of 'think',
I Thought & Thought & Thought
And End up with writing 'Thinked'





4. Husband: I lost my wife, she went shopping &
hasn't come back yet .
Inspector: What is her height?
Husband: I never checked .
Inspector: slim or healthy?
Husband: Not slim,can be healthy.
Inspector: Colour of eyes?
Husband: I never noticed.
Inspector: Colour of hair?
Husband: Changes according to season.
Inspector: What was she wearing?
Husband: Not sure whether it was a dress or suit.
Inspector: Was she driving?
Husband: Yes.
Inspector: Colour of the car?......
Husband: Black audi A8 with supercharged 3.0
litre V6 engine generating 333 horse power
Teamed with an eight-speed tiptronic automatic
transmission with manual mode.And it has full
LED headlights, which use light emitting diodes
for all light functions and has a very thin scratch
on the front left door..............and then the husband
started crying
Inspector: Don't worry sir....... we will find your car.






5. Boy: Our principal is so stupid.
Girl: Don't you know who i am ?
Boy: No.
Girl: I'm the principal's daughter .
Boy: Do you know whom I m ?
Girl: No.
Boy: Good (walks away)





6. Teacher : What does a sign have to
do with your being late?

Student: The sign said,
“School Ahead ,GO Slow!”





7. IN GYM
Boy: I want to impress the cute
Girls.....
Which machine should
I use..?
Uncle: Use the ATM machine
outside the GYM.




8. Boys on Bike...
1 hand on Clutch,
1 hand on accelerator,
1 Ear on Traffic sounds,
1 Ear on Mobile,
1 Leg on Gear,
1 leg on Brake,
2 Eyes on Girls,
Aren't boys Multi Talented.........





9. Man 1: Why is Prime minister
not seen in morning.
Man 2. Because he is PM
not AM.





10. Teacher: Today, we're going to talk
about the tenses.Now,If i
say “ I am beautiful”
which tense is it?
Student: Obviously it is the past
tense....